We can reflect and reset every day, or every minute of our lives. Yet, sometimes it takes the “new year” excitement (or b.s.) to really dig deep and see what lessons we’ve learned and what we want to do with them. For me, I think I ignored many of the lessons in this past year until December 31, 2018. 2018 wasn’t a great year for me. I didn’t suffer personal tragedy or loss. I didn’t lose my job or see my family fall apart. But it was a year filled with what I call “spiraling”. Not a single thing seemed grounded or settled. My marriage was tested, my kids really struggled through changes, we moved 3 times in 8 weeks, I let a personal court battle dig into my psyche to the core and my job was consistently chaotic and overwhelming. I’ve definitely dealt with worse circumstances in all fronts, but taken all together, I really spiraled. Spiraling to me didn’t involve waking up in a hospital bed, it involved seeing myself lose sight of what my true values are. As Brené Brown reminds us, don’t lose sight of what brings you “joy and meaning.”
I spent 2018 anxious. I spent the year reactive. And by reactive, I mean unsettled and responding from emotion, not from the place where I really like my
I had moments where I’d scan through “work-life balance” articles on LinkedIn and would roll my eyes and ask myself if those authors even understood what mothers go through who work 10+ hour days with 2+ hour round-trip commutes and kids who play sports year-round.
So, I am making some resolutions for 2019, not in the typical fashion, but in the refocusing on what I already know that I have in me. Here’s my list of resolutions labeled as “What I Won’t Do”:
And most importantly, I won’t lose sight of my core values: family, well-being, compassion, connection and integrity. These are the things that bring joy and meaning, not paychecks, promotions, winning or crossing off to-dos.
Well, there is one more thing:
I won’t be unforgiving or unkind to myself when I screw any of these things up.